The year 2020 has made me really uncomfortable. Truth be told, I’m a control-freak. Not so much so when it comes to people; rather, I like to have my life compartmentalized into easy-to-handle sections. This ideology applies to, but, not confined to my finances, my home and my schedule. We all remember the wheels coming off in the world within a matter of days during the onset of COVID-19. As I’ve mentioned before, coronavirus itself has had little effect on me, but, the sense of control-loss did. I’m learning it is in these seasons I have to rest and let God do His work on me.
Embrace the uncertainty
After we had moved to South Dakota in the summer of 2020, I was still uncomfortable. Not only had I sold my home and left a stable job, my family was living in my brother and sister-in-law’s unfinished basement. I had many restless nights thinking about the uncertainties of this world, finding a home to purchase and contemplating if we had made the right decision to move to South Dakota in the first place. The best advice I received during this came from two of my friends back in Minnesota. They encouraged me not to rush this season.
This is not what I wanted to hear.
Remember, I like control. I didn’t like waking up each day with a laundry list of worries to figure out; all of which greatly affected me and my family. I wanted to run away from the feeling, but I couldn’t. And now I had my friends telling me not to rush it.
The truth is God was doing some amazing things. He was exposing impurities about my own life, my heart and the faulty ways I handle adversity which had been buried for years. My marriage was being restored. I was forced to rely of God more than ever. I was fasting. And, my prayer-life was as vibrant and genuine as it had ever been during my 20 years of being in the faith. No doubt, God was using this difficult season a way to test and refine my heart.
Author, Bob Goff has a popular quote. He says, “Embrace uncertainty. Some of the most beautiful chapters in our lives won’t have a title until much later.”
Let the fire do its job
When a silversmith melts silver or gold to reveal the impurities, he skims them off the top making the metal more pure. It would be foolish for the worker to stir the impurities back into the molten metal. However, metaphorically, I’ve been doing this for years. When I find myself in a difficult or uncomfortable season, I just want it to end. I don’t like difficultly. I want the path of least resistance. So, I’ll make decisions to end the pain, thus, cutting off the power of the fire do its job – refine me.
No doubt, this year has been a fire. I talk to very few people that are not dealing with something heavy in their lives. However, God never wastes difficult experiences. But, it is up to us if we will allow this fire to refine us. We have to sit in the fire. We can rush it. And when impurities rise to the surface, we have to let God deal with them.
So, don’t rush this uncomfortable season. Let’s lean in together, embrace the uncertainty and deal with the impurities of our own hearts.
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